Less than Perfect
I have a confession. I am a perfectionist. Always have been. For a lot of my life I was proud of this. I really saw it as a positive quality. Always pushing mySelf to do better, to be better...who am I kidding? I wanted to be the best. And I wasn't about to settle for less.
But then I got "spiritual," and we all know there is no "better than" in spiritual, am I right? 😉
But that's the thing. Even with my subdued ego, just a little quieter than before, the voice of "less than" is still there. And if there is "less than," there is ALWAYS "better than." That aspect of me still compares, competes, and generally feels like she's not up to the task at hand. Whether I am momming, writing, teaching, guiding, growing, stretching, transforming, or learning...it's never enough. NOTHING. IS. EVER. ENOUGH. You see, that's the down side of perfectionism. Nothing is ever enough for a perfectionist. And although I do my best not to judge others, I am CONSTANTLY critiquing myself. And the bar is set to high, it's overwhelming. And even if I am not trying to be "better than" anyone else, I am still trying to be better than my former Self.
I know what you're thinking, and I agree, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Looking inward and becoming curious about ourSelves and how we show up in the world is a beautiful thing. It's THE thing. We should all strive to know and improve ourSelves. But that doesn't mean we have to be perfect. In fact, it's the exact opposite. What it actually means is that we have to LOVE ourSelves through the transitions. It means we hold space for our imperfections with patience, gratitude, and reverence. Because that former version of Self got us where we are today. We wouldn't be here without them.
So why am I sharing this with you today? I am sharing this because I am hoping I can reach at least one Soul who is going through this and let you know...YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I see you. I feel you. I am you. We are in this together. We are NOT PERFECT. We never will be. And until that really sinks in...I Love you anyway.
But then I got "spiritual," and we all know there is no "better than" in spiritual, am I right? 😉
But that's the thing. Even with my subdued ego, just a little quieter than before, the voice of "less than" is still there. And if there is "less than," there is ALWAYS "better than." That aspect of me still compares, competes, and generally feels like she's not up to the task at hand. Whether I am momming, writing, teaching, guiding, growing, stretching, transforming, or learning...it's never enough. NOTHING. IS. EVER. ENOUGH. You see, that's the down side of perfectionism. Nothing is ever enough for a perfectionist. And although I do my best not to judge others, I am CONSTANTLY critiquing myself. And the bar is set to high, it's overwhelming. And even if I am not trying to be "better than" anyone else, I am still trying to be better than my former Self.
I know what you're thinking, and I agree, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Looking inward and becoming curious about ourSelves and how we show up in the world is a beautiful thing. It's THE thing. We should all strive to know and improve ourSelves. But that doesn't mean we have to be perfect. In fact, it's the exact opposite. What it actually means is that we have to LOVE ourSelves through the transitions. It means we hold space for our imperfections with patience, gratitude, and reverence. Because that former version of Self got us where we are today. We wouldn't be here without them.
So why am I sharing this with you today? I am sharing this because I am hoping I can reach at least one Soul who is going through this and let you know...YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I see you. I feel you. I am you. We are in this together. We are NOT PERFECT. We never will be. And until that really sinks in...I Love you anyway.
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